A week and a half ago we were finishing up our first real vacation in a long time. Chuck E Cheese, the Creation Museum (which was awesome), Newport Aquarium, Cheesecake Factory, and hours of indoor swim time had just about worn me out…aren’t vacations supposed to be restful and relaxing?

As we were beginning to pack up to come home to the city God has called me to, I began to become sick. My back began spasming, I got really light headed…it was awful.

As we began the journey homeward I thought about how much I just wanted to stay where I was. I thought about all the hard parts of pastoring an old church which is in transition. I thought about all the work that was piling up in the office. I had a phone call from the state office in the middle of my pity party, and it added to the tension (nothing bad…just business). I began thinking about all my personal financial woes. Before I knew it I said “God I’m ready to just give up…If you’ll let me, I’ll resign and go flip burgers at McDonald’s.”

Then we stopped at a Family Christian bookstore in Florence, KY. When I walked in the door I saw a framed print on the floor leaning against the wall. It was a portrait of Christ, badly beaten, bleeding, and falling under the weight of His cross. The Spirit nudged me, “What if I had given up?” He said, “Let this cup pass from Me…Remember? But I didn’t give up. I did what was required of Me.”

After a few minutes, we got in the van and began driving again. This time Monica was driving and I was riding shotgun. The kids had picked out A Horse and His Boy from the Chronicles of Narnia to listen to on the return trip, so I changed out CDs as necessary.

I kept remembering what the Lord had impressed upon me in the bookstore, but I still pitied myself.

Then we came to the parts on the CD where the young boy Shasta had his own pity parties. One in particular is while he is lost, riding a horse in a dense fog, not able to see where he is going, nor anything around him. He strikes up a conversation with another traveler who is walking beside him, even though he can’t see him. As he lists his complaints to the unseen companion, he speaks of the challenges of meeting lions, and declares himself to be unfortunate.

The unseen sojourner then begins to explain to Shasta that there were not “lions” but ”a lion”…and then tells Shasta that this unseen traveling companion is in fact that self same lion. He proceeds to explain that he was the lion who had carefully guided Shasta’s life through the hardships and into this very moment. When asked who this lion was, he simply replied, “Myself”. The lion knew who the boy really was, that he was not an unfortunate orphan raised as not much more than a slave, but in fact Shasta was Cor, a crowned prince and future king.

The lion, whom fans of Narnia know as Aslan, is a symbol of Christ and once again the Spirit began to nudge me using this simple allegory.

Here I am wishing I could give up in the fog, but Christ sees something I can not see…my life is not about where I’ve been, it is about where I am going.

My parents used to sing a song that says: Little is much, if God is in it. Labor not for wealth or fame. There’s a crown and you can win it, if you’ll go in Jesus name.

So when I get discouraged…when I just want to give up…I remember there is someone on this path Whom I can’t see yet. He knows where I’ve been, He knows where I am, but more importantly, He knows where I am going, and sometimes I just need to see myself through His eyes.

As Winston Churhill famously stated, “Never give up…Never give up.”

And so to you my friend I say as well, “Never give up”.

Blessings,

Darrell Buttram, Jr.